It’s been a few days since my surgery, and although I still feel a bit of pain (mostly from the incessions) I am very happy that my gallbladder is gone knowing I won’t have another attack makes me very happy. I have felt very energized since for some reason although I am not complaining at all. I have also picked up my new fur baby Buddy he is the worlds cutest dog, with all these things to be happy about you would think I would be on cloud 9, however there is still that bit of sadness that bit of depression in the back of my mind. I wish it wasn’t there I wish it would go away but it is and it’s hunting and ruining my life. Even with all this there’s the little voice yelling something is going to happen something is going to go wrong something always goes wrong, you don’t deserve happiness you get to be miserable this is the voice in my head then there’s the voice of reason that is telling me to enjoy my happiness enjoy my life enjoy my fur baby nothing is going to go wrong and if it does it’s life be happy take the good with the bad they happy with the sad. That’s the voice I try to listen too that’s the voice that needs to be louder every day but it’s not most days it’s the voice saying why try it never works out for you anyways. There are a lot of days I want to write in this blog and that voice says why bother it sucks and no one reads it anyways but on the days I write it’s because the good voice says write your feelings so what if no one reads it just put your feelings down to help yourself. So here I am today getting the bad thoughts out so only the good thoughts stay doing what helps me to get through another day.  To help me not to give up because there are so many times I do just want to give up so many times I want to be done with it all where I find myself asking God to not let me wake up in the morning because who cares anyways right? I struggle daily with these kinda thoughts it’s hard to have inner battles with yourself it’s takes all your energy all your strength it takes everything and it takes even more to let the good win and live another day so if you know anyone suffering from depression help them to live another day to keep up the good fight help them to know it’s ok to not be ok and most of all help them to realize they are loved!! Remember:

**Everyday may not be good but there is good in everyday**