what do you do when you just don’t have the strength to fight anymore? When you’re so tired of everything? When you just can’t find a reason to go on anymore? Sure you know everyone loves you and will miss you but you also know they’re life will go on time heals all wounds right?? I mean you know they love but something that dark voice in your head tells you they don’t that no one could possibly love you plus a lot of your childhood was being told that no one will ever love you. What do you do when the dark voices just seem to be taking over your mind once again? Telling you that you don’t matter, that you’re nothing, no one will miss you because no one cares. Sure they say they do and in some way you know it’s true but the depression just doesn’t allow you to believe it. It doesn’t allow you to see it, to feel it. When you spend most of the day crying as long as you’re alone. What do you do when you just can’t feel happiness, you know what it is you know how it feels but it’s been so long since you’ve truly felt it that you would do anything to feel it again, so you try and try to do things that used to make you happy but nothing is working nothing is helping. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I enjoy life the way everyone else does? Where is my happiness? Do I not deserve to be happy too? How much longer can I be this miserable? I don’t want to fight to anymore I don’t want to be that person that everyone sits around worried about I just want it to end. The stress the hurt the pain the suffering the failing all of it I want it to end. Days like today I fear spending the day alone because my thoughts scare me I know I can’t control myself when I feel this way so I try to fight them I try and try to make it until he gets home from work but days today I just don’t know if I can do it. Days like today I just don’t know if I want to make it I just don’t know if I want to fight!!
**Everyday may not be good but there is a little good in everyday**