What is wrong with me? Where is my happiness? Where is my motivation?? Why can’t I find the will to live anymore?? All I do is cry, and I don’t know why. Most days I can find a way to put on a Brave face and pretend everything is ok but then there are days, days like today where I just can’t find it in me to put on that brave face, where I just can’t find it in me to care, where I just can’t find it in me to have the will to want to live. Days like today make me wonder what is wrong with me? Where is my happiness? Why do I have to be sad?? Days like today make me wonder why I’m a failure? Why I let me intelligence go to waste?? My skills go unused? Why is my life so empty?? I try to fill the void with shopping but that doesn’t work, so now I can’t help but notice that something is missing from my life and I don’t know what, I don’t know where to look, so I keep hoping that it will find me but it still hasn’t. I try to make changes to my life I really do and they go will until I can no longer fight the depression and it takes hold of me and pulls me back down and then those changes don’t matter because I stop trying because once again I don’t have the will to fight I don’t have the will to try I just don’t have the will. And I wish I had the will I wish I had the fight I wish I had the strength and some days I can find it but some days well some days the bad stuff finds me. I want to be happy I want to take the good with the bad and keep going on, I want to feel life again to feel joy to feel love.
**Everyday may not be good but there is a little good in everyday**