Have you ever looked at all the people in your life and just felt like their lives were moving forward and yours is standing still? Have you ever been surrounded by people who love you but felt all alone? Have you ever felt happy but still very empty? Have you ever done something amazing and yet still felt worthless? This is life for me daily. I know I’m not worthless yet I feel I am, I know I’m loved by many yet feel so alone, I have so many moments of laughter and happiness yet I still feel so empty inside. Is it because I want more out of life? Because I know I have so much potential and I’m doing absolutely nothing with it? Is it because I am letting my intelligentance and kindness and my skills go to waste instead of persuring my dreams? Maybe it’s because I have always felt this pressure to become something to do something with my life. My whole life I grew up thinking I would be the one to put my family on my shoulders and earn us enough money so we wouldn’t have to struggle anymore, was I putting too much pressure on myself ? Yes of course I was me “making it big” was always our way out I needed to do it.. I had to do it!! But I didn’t, I couldn’t it was too much pressure I let my family down, I let myself down and worse of all I let the one person who I have always been a role model too down. I gave up because the school I went was filled with people who it seemed like didn’t like me based on the color of my skin. I know what you’re thinking that’s crazy talk, but how else can I feel when people who I haven’t even talk to walk by me and give me the “you don’t belong here” , when the people I try to talk to instead look at me like I’m crazy for talking to them and just walk away. Sure there was one maybe two people I talked to that didn’t give those looks but there was hundreds more giving them. I went to mostly “white” schools all my life I have had teachers look at me like that I’ve had teachers talk to me like I’m stupid treat me differently that is right up until the first test or big assignment when they saw how smart I was. I know this took a change and now I’m talking about how must of my life I have been stereotyped based on the color of my skin, see the stereotype is that black people are stupid, or lazy but we’re not. I spent a lot of my life working twice as hard to prove I was smart to prove I belonged so I guess when I finally reached university I hoped I wouldn’t have to work twice as hard to prove I belong to prove that I am just as smart as those around me, so when it turned out I would have to work even harder to prove those things well I just gave up because I was tired of fighting for something I shouldn’t have to fight for!! I got into one of the top schools in Canada and that still wasn’t enough to end the judgement. Back then I was too young and it was too much for me too take on but now I’m older and maybe it’s too late but there’s only one way to find out. Remember:

**Everyday may not be good, but there is a little good in everyday**

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