When one is suffering from depression no one thinks about the added stress that goes along with it, as this blog is based on my life I will use myself for an example. Where I am not working right now because I am trying to get better mentally I am not being paid yes this is probably just temporary until my paper work is approved; however this does not help with the stress of bills being unpaid my car loan my ins my rent etc. Someone who is not suffering from a mental illness can easily handle the stress of it all they will call and make the necessary arrangements to tie them over. I know I know why don’t I just do that as well, simple for someone with depression and anxiety speaking to someone on the phone is one of the hardest things to do. AHhhhh strangers (I have had minor anxiety attacks just waiting for the person to pick up). Also lets talk about how the stress makes me feel, I already hate life and think life has it out for me so when these things happen it brings me down even more I mean why can’t life just work in my favor once? Why can’t my finance company just understand that things happen? Why can’t they just give me a break? or my insurance company I have been with them for over 3 years no missed payments excellent history why can’t they just cut me some slack? I mean is me paying a few days late really going to break them? No it won’t but you know what life is hard it’s not meant to be easy but it is that much harder and that much more stressful when you are battling your inner self daily. There’s so much on my mind already and so many other factors telling my inner self why life is not worth living so as more things keep piling up it becomes easier to see how life is not worth living it becomes easier to want to give into those bad thoughts. Yes I’m strong and I am still fighting and I will continue to fight for as long as I possibly can but it’s slowly becoming too much for me. I need to find the strength in me to make these calls to try and work things out I need to find the strength in me to love myself. I need to find the strength in me to kick depressions as*. I need the strength and it’s slowly coming to me I feel myself slowly getting back to the old me I just need to hold onto to it and don’t let life bring me back down this time. So Remember:

**Everyday may not be good but there is a little good in everyday**

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