It’s been a few days since I wrote anything in here and I have been on emotional roller coaster. One minute feeling about as happy as I could and the next minute wishing I wasn’t here to begin with. There have been more lows than highs in the last few weeks which is why I haven’t written in awhile, I barely have the energy and strength to get out of bed anymore but it’s the moments of “happiness” that keep me going, that keep pushing me through. I have started looking for those moments more in everyday and that seems to be a good reminder that things will get better and this is just a rough patch. Right now depression may be winning the battle but I will win the war. Today I got friendly reminder (a tattoo on my wrist) to never end the fight. I got a semi colon tattoo, my mood instantly picked up when he was done, I even walked to the Petro Canada to do my good deed. I got this tattoo done for free with the condition I do a good deed for someone, so the whole walk there I was thinking what good deed can I do? I tried to pay for people’s gas but they wouldn’t allow me, I stood in the gas station for 15 mins before I gave up. So tomorrow (even though it’s a holiday) I will try again. If tomorrow doesn’t work then maybe I will walk a bit farther and try a bit harder and maybe I can continue to walk a bit farther everyday, and then maybe just maybe I will start to feel better maybe my anxiety will calm down because I know it won’t leave. But maybe just maybe day by day I can walk farther and farther and slowly my depression will take the back seat as well. I know that getting better is a one step at a time kind of thing so I will take it one step at a time, except now when I reach for that pill bottle or knife and think about hurting myself that friendly reminder will be staring me in the face saying not is not the time to end your life, now is the time to continue to push through. It may be hard but together we can win this battle, always remember:

**Everyday may not be good but there is a little good in everyday**

*Don’t forget to get your t-shirt at https://www.customizedgirl.com/s/fighttogether to help support Mental health programs through out Nova Scotia.*

 

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