Hey guys so it’s been awhile since I wrote anything in here, so I thought I would give you all a quick update! I still feel awesome mentally, physically well that’s another story as my back doesn’t seem to like me right now, so I am off work again temporarily but will be returning as soon as my desk gets installed. I also got into school which I think I may have mentioned before but now it’s real as I have selected my classes so again YAY me!! Now don’t get the wrong impression I am not better by any means. I still wake up every now and again wishing that I didn’t, but now I am able (usually) to push those thoughts out and have a good day with that being said I also have woken up in a good mood and then found myself in a shit mood by the end of they day, but I still haven’t given up and neither should you. I’ve been seeing a lot of post lately of young kids taking their own lives because they’re being bullied so I have a message for the young people who may be thinking about doing that.. DON’T DO IT!! I know what it’s like to be picked on trust me I was called buck tooth beaver throughout most of my school years then I was also called worse things by my family so trust me when I tell you it will get better, it is not worth killing yourself over. If you are having those thoughts or someone you know is having those thoughts please hang in there, help them get the help they need life is worth living so please don’t let the bullies win I believe in you!! And here’s a poem from my book just because I love you all!!

I’m Not

No, I’m not insane and I’m not going crazy

No, I’m not useless and I swear I’m not lazy!

No, I’m not lucky that I don’t have to work

And I’m not sorry if I’m sounding like a jerk

But I’m not weird and I’m not antisocial

I’m done being silent it’s time to be vocal

I’m not trying to scare you or cause you stress

Don’t lump my depression in with all the rest

No, I’m not worthless and I’m far from weak

Please listen carefully to the words that I speak

No, I’m not faking or looking for your attention

I’m not done yet there’s more left to mention

I’m not messed up and I’m not a psycho either

Just give me a minute, let me take a breather.

Now let me tell you all that I am, yes, I am strong

And if you think otherwise you’d be wrong,

Yes, I am beautiful and I’m incredibly kind

I am a great woman with an even greater mind!

Yes, I am intelligent which makes me very wise

You can tell I’m a dreamer just by looking in my eyes,

Yes, I have depression and no I’m not ashamed

I’m so sick of letting my illness define my name!

I’m more than just a girl fighting a mental illness

I’m here to make waves throughout all the stillness

It’s time to speak up and put an end to the silence

It’s time depression was met with our defiance!

It’s time to stand up to depression, time to fight back

It’s time to be strong and ready for the next attack

 

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