I’m a failure! I always have been and always will be.. As long as I’m alive nobody will notice me no one will care about me when I’m gone everyone will cry and say we should’ve done more or I never knew she was depressed! Yes you did and you should’ve. Saying those hurtful things about me behind my back doesn’t help so don’t bother coming to my funeral and those who did care I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough I’m sorry for giving up but there honestly is no other way I’m tired of the pain for no reason I’m tired of failing at everything I try to do I’m just tired of living. The more I fought the worse my life seems to have gotten!! I know I know it can’t be that bad you only owe over $2100 in rent not that big of deal right? Well maybe not until you’re facing eviction. Maybe not until work keeps taking your money for “over payment” so you don’t get a dime still not that bad? Maybe not until you don’t know where your next meal is coming from how you’re going to pay for school or pay for anything for that matter see the world is run by money without it you can’t eat you have no where’s to live you can’t even breathe.. still not that bad you can work through it wait it out the good days will come we’ll truthfully I’m tired of waiting for my good days to come I’m tired of fighting through the rain I’m tired of walking through life with this fake smile on my face and not being able to feel happiness or anything I’m tired of caring way too much and not enough at the same time I’m tired of feeling unloved even though I know I am I’m tired of depression grabbing hold of me and keeping me hostage everyday most importantly I’m just tired of being tired. I’m sure I have more fight left in me but I just can’t find it right now and honestly I don’t want to.. I want to give in I want to end the pain the suffering the just knowing something is going to go wrong because my life actually sucks… I’m tired of draining all of my moms energy of having her worry about me every day I’m sure she’ll say I’d rather worry about you then mourn you but she’ll see in time she’ll get past the mourning stage and she’ll have a weight lifted off her shoulders.. She’ll see in time because now I’m just tired of fighting.

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