Today I woke up once again in pain from my back which makes me frustrated and only brings me down because I’m tired of the back pain but I’m also tired of the mental pain. I’m tired of fighting myself daily I’m tired of pretending I’m ok so those around me can be happy. Yes sometimes I am happy but more times then not it’s a fake smile followed by a fake laugh while I feel empty inside. I don’t want to feel this way I don’t want to have these days I don’t want to have to pretend but it’s the only way I can make it through life.. Fake it until you make it right? But am I still allowed to have bad days? You know the days where you just want to give up on everything? The days where nothing seems worth it anymore? You know those days where you just want to hide under your blankets and never face the world again? Yes those days am I still allowed to have them? Will people understand if I have those days? Or will they tell me to get it over it? Today is one of those days where I look back at my life and wonder how I got here? Where I miss how happy I used to be.. where I miss the friends I had who have all now left more than likely I pushed them away while battling this demon I mean who wants to be friends with the girl whose always depressed? There’s no fun in that! Well I’m signing off for the day but you guys remember

**Everyday may not be good but there is a little good in everyday**